Madonna and Guy Ritchie finalized their divorce today at a court in London. The two were granted a so-called “quickie divorce.” Madonna listed the reason for the split as Guy’s “continuing unreasonable behavior.” Whatever bitch. You want to know what’s unreasonable? Five hour workouts every day. Muscles aren’t supposed to develop muscles. You want to know what else is unreasonable? Level Five on Contra. Seriously, how do you beat it without the spread gun?

[Splash News, WENN]

Ashlee Simpson had her baby last night at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles. Bronx Mowgli Wentz weighed in at 7 pounds, 11 ounces. Yup, they named their kid after the kid from the Jungle Book. Gee, I don’t see that kid developing any emotional problems at all. Thanks Mom and Dad! From their rep:

“Proud new parents Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson-Wentz welcomed new son, Bronx Mowgli Wentz, late this evening. Ashlee, Pete and baby Bronx are all healthy and happy, and thank everyone for their well wishes!” (Source)

You know what this means? Jessica Simpson is now an aunt. God I hope Ashlee and Pete don’t leave her alone with the baby. “Momma always used to wash me in the sink so I figgered the dishwasher’d be twice as fast. Get off my back! I didn’t mean to kill yer baby!”

[WENN]

Don’t click the picture. Just trust me dude, don’t click the picture.

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Here’s the first official nip slip from the set of the new 90210. And you can say I’m more than a little disappointed. I had my fingers crossed that it was gonna be Rob Estes. *swoon*

[INFDaily.com]

+ Shitty Aubrey O’Day upskirt picture [Drunken Stepfather]

+ Denise Milani is, ahem, stacked [Hollywood Tuna]
+ Blake Lively has that just effed look [Bastardly]
+ In case you missed it: Karolina Kurkova is a freak [Egotastic!]
+ Tricia Helfer is beautiful sorta [Popoholic]
+ The worst celebrity couple of 2008 is . . . [I’m Not Obsessed]

+ Rihanna has a new dumb tattoo [Dlisted]
+ Adriana Lima is definitely one of the better women to resemble [College Humor]
+ Lara Flynn Boyle might weigh 90 pounds [A Socialite’s Life]
+ Selena Gomez is probably talking shit about Taylor Swift [Lossip]

+ Megan Fox and that douche she’s dating are planning their wedding [Yeeeah!]
+ Lenny Kravitz’s NYC sex pad [CityRag]
+ It’s an all-out war between Brangelina and Jen [popbytes]
+ Cindy McCain’s mystery lover revealed as a used-car salesman [Gabby Babble]

[WENN]

Can you beat my caption?

Winner, decided by me and posted next week, to receive $10 Amazon.com gift code (will be emailed).

[WENN]

Greek model and actress Julia Alexandratou

CLICK HERE to jump to 26 more Julia Alexandratou pics on PAGE 2

+ Madonna looks like an idiot [Just Jared]

+ Bianca Gascoigne gets naked for Nuts [Drunken Stepfather]
+ Kim Kardashian Bikini Pictures Are Alright [Egotastic!]
+ Holly Madison is slowly turning homeless [F-Listed]
+ Another Paris Hilton upskirt [TaxiDriverMovie]

+ Kelly Brook in a bikini and looking super sexy in J magazine [Popoholic]
+ Elizabeth Banks is rather sexy [Holy Taco]
+ Top 10 Hookup Websites [Ask Men]
+ Jay-Z and Beyonce made $162 million last year [Bossip]
+ Video of Pam Anderson dancing nude for Hugh Hefner (NSFW) [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]

[WENN]

It’s about damn time Billy Ray Cyrus pulled his head out of his ass and realized his 15-year-old daughter is dating a 20-year-old, ex-underwear model. Sources tell the Chicago Sun Times that Billy Ray has been pressuring Miley to end her relationship with Justin Gaston:

”Miley is totally smitten by the guy and thinks her father is a total jerk because he doesn’t want her to date Justin. … Billy Ray, and a lot of other people close to Miley, think the guy is a total leech … using Miley just to get ahead.”

All that talk really gets to Miley, who was heard saying her father better “get out of my business or else!” (Source)

An Open Letter to Billy Ray Cyrus:

Dear Billy Ray,

You’re too late. Being overprotective at this point is useless. Miley’s already become a “real” woman now that she’s learned to wash dishes speak only when spoken to fake an orgasm. You’ll be happy to know that your soon-to-be son in law, although no longer an underwear model, has earned another (and some say more prestigious) title: Statutory Rapist. Good luck with the baby shower!

Sincerely,

Your friends at Celebslam

[Pacific Coast News]

He won’t let Britney drop $20k on her Christmas card this year. But, Dadddddd!!!! From Star:

“She wanted to rent real reindeer and even buy fake snow,” an insider reveals. But when Jamie, who as her conservator has control of her finances, heard the bill would be $20,000, he hit the roof. “He asked why she couldn’t just put the kids in Christmas sweaters and use her digital camera.” (Source)

C’mon Jamie, it’s Christmas. Quit being such a cockblock. Give Britney a week where she can spend her money on whatever she wants. “In the news today, Britney Spears is the new owner of the world’s largest gravy factory in Minnesota.”

[INFDaily.com]