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FAIL
Danny Bonaduce ran out of a gas yesterday in Hollywood. These pics are already classics. I like how he actually pushed his [friend’s] Harley to a gas station like he was gonna fill it up or something. C’mon Bonaduce, we know you can’t afford gas. Just admit defeat and wait for the bus. Former child stars ride for free on Mondays!
Jessica Simpson arriving to the Marc Jacobs fashion show afterparty (9/8)
Jessica Simpson got so drunk last week during the Marc Jacobs fashion show in New York, she was asked to leave the afterparty. An insider told Star magazine:
“Jessica was stumbling around the party slurring her words and barely able to stand. It was embarrassing! In New York, it doesn’t matter who you are If you’re acting like a fool, no one will stand for it.” (Source)
Just because Jessica was slurring her words doesn’t mean she was drunk. Have you ever seen her try to pronounce a word with more than four syllables? It’s pretty scary. She could be stone cold sober and you’d swear she just chugged a bottle of tequila. It’s a lot like asking a seven-year-old to explain the theory of relativity.
Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt at Gelson’s Market in Pacific Palisades (8/27)
Great news everybody. After seeing these ridiculous pics of Heidi and Spencer shopping yesterday, my hatred level for the couple has broken through the previous resistance level of 10 and is now at a 12. Top Wall Street analysts believe hatred levels could “easily” reach 20 by year’s end.
She must see a math problem
Hugh Hefner’s soon to minus one girlfriend. The Playboy patriarch’s youngest girlfriend, 23-year-old Kendra Wilkinson, is reportedly moving out of the mansion after the fifth season of her E! reality show Girls Next Door wraps filming later this year. An insider told In Touch Weekly:
“Kendra Wilkinson has been offered her own reality show about starting her life over again when she moves out of the Playboy Mansion. Hugh Hefner knows her time is coming.”
Why exactly is Kendra leaving? She has it good at Hef’s place. Fame, fortune, and a boyfriend whose balls are only slightly less wrinkly than his face. Now that Kendra’s moving out, there’s only one profession that she’s qualified for: hooker stripper 49er. She’s been gold digging for so long, it’d be the perfect fit. Also a perfect fit for Kendra: a grain silo.
[WENN, Pacific Coast News]
NOTE: For the first time in like three years, I’m taking a vacation. I’ll be in Beijing all week. I’m posting new stuff as much as possible, as well as mixing in some classic posts and some new features (The Daily Bikini). Normal posting will resume next Monday. Peace!
ORIGINAL POST: September 28, 2007
Somalia? More like “Fun”malia
Since it was announced that Harrison Ford would be starring in the fourth installment of the Indiana Jones franchise–due to hit theatres in 2008–the star has been on a “grueling fitness regime.” Ford last played the role of the professor/adventurer/archeologist nearly 18 years ago while still a spry 46-year-old. According to his girlfriend, Calista Flockhart:
“He’s on a strict high-protein diet. He’s eating lots of fish and vegetables. It’s hard but he’s already looking great for it. He wants to make sure Indy is as tough as he always was.” (Source)
I love it when old people try to act like they’re still valued members of society. It’s so darn funny. Like Somalia, what with its dirt roads, sectarian violence, lack of potable water, and high infant mortality rate . . . It’s a laugh riot!
Aubrey O’Day and Lydia Hearst are attention whore
Aubrey O’Day of “Danity Kane” fame and Lydia Hearst of “my grandpa made a shitload of money and now I don’t have to do anything” fame decided to make out with each other last night as they left Butter nightclub. Well it’s official, Lohan and Ronson, these two chicks, lesbianism is officially the hot new trend sweeping Hollywood. Are you listening Kate Beckinsale and Alessandra Ambrosio? My penis certainly hopes so.
