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Suck on that, salad!

October 9th, 2008 at 05:30pm Under Travis Barker+ barker+ crash+ http+ interview+ page+ travis+ usmagazine+ www

Travis Barker is back on the meat team

A vegetarian for 25 years, Travis Barker has started eating meat again to help speed along his recovery from that inconvenient plane crash he was in last month. He told Us Weekly:

“I need protein from food rather than just protein supplements. I changed my diet. I would do anything I possibly could if they said like, ‘There’s a possibility you might heal faster if you do eat meat or just change your eating habits.’ So I did. I don’t regret it at all, I feel so much better.” (Source)

Uh oh, PETA is gonna be pissed. It’s a good thing their diet of tofu and lettuce doesn’t give them enough strength to picket Barker’s hospital.

[WENN]

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Amy Winehouse tried to kill herself

October 9th, 2008 at 10:00am Under 23043+ Amy Winehouse+ amy+ celebrity+ femalefirst+ html+ http+ winehouse+ www

The healthiest Amy’s looked in weeks

Amy Winehouse reportedly tried to kill herself with a knife in front of her friends. A source told Britain’s Daily Star tabloid:

“Amy said she was ‘caught up in a nightmare’. Her friends managed to get the knife away from her but are now holding a 24-hour watch on her. Amy has a death wish. Her emotions are exaggerated. She is either high as a kite or, when she hears something she doesn’t like, she’s suicidal. She is all for this stupid Sid Vicious notion of dying young. She is not scared of it and believes it’s her destiny.” (Source)

Thank God her friends managed to stop her. Amy has simply too much to live for: meth, cocaine, vicodin, whiskey, heroine, percocet, and weed. And what about seeing the world? There’s still so many countries Amy has yet to visit and pass out in.

NOTE: When Amy dies, does she get a 21-syringe salute at her funeral?

[WENN]

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Miley’s dad approves

October 8th, 2008 at 05:30pm Under 2933+ 433721+ Billy Ray Cyrus+ Justin Gaston+ Miley Cyrus+ foxnews+ html+ http+ story+ www

Miley Cyrus and Justin Gaston leaving Table 8 restaurant in West Hollywood (9/26)

Miley Cyrus’ dad Billy Ray is totally cool with his 15-year-old daughter dating 20-year-old underwear model Justin Gaston. At Miley’s 6-week-early Sweet 16 party on Sunday, he told Fox:

“He is a great guy, a really talented guy,” Billy Ray said of Gaston, adding that he is great company for his daughter. (Source)

In Billy Ray’s defense, even though Miley’s only 15, she has the net worth of 10,000 18-year-olds. And last time I checked, 18-year-olds can date whoever the hell they want. So, Mr. Prosecuter, you can take your statutory rape law and shove it.*

*you’d be surprised how often that line works

[Flynet]

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Kristen Bell sucks

October 7th, 2008 at 10:00am Under 28519200+ Kristen Bell+ community+ cutid1+ html+ http+ livejournal+ ohnotheydidnt

Kristen Bell is sorta topless

I don’t mean her personally. I’m sure she’s quite pleasant. I mean these pictures. They’re screencaps from an extended scene in Bell’s last film Forgetting Sarah Marshall. I guess the censors messed up or something and blurred out her arm instead of her boobs. I’m sure it has everything to do with human error and nothing to do with creating a little buzz for the newly-released DVD. Cool, right? Not really. She’s wearing pasties. But, hey, if you’re turned on by blurry pictures of boobs without nipples, today’s quite the day for you.

I threw the NSFW star on there just in case your boss is an asshole. Truthfully though, if looking at these pics could get you fired, you really need to get a new job. I hear logging pays well. Plus, every tree you cut down crushes the spirit of exactly 2.3 hippies. How cool is that?

[ONTD]

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Adnan says no sex tape

October 2nd, 2008 at 11:00am Under 14672+ Adnan Ghalib+ Britney Spears+ britney_spears_sex_tape+ http+ news+ starmagazine+ www

Adnan Ghalib denies existence of Britney Spears sex tape

Britney Spears’ ex Adnan Ghalib is denying reports that he’s trying to sell a sex tape featuring Britney and him. Yesterday it was rumored Britney would try to purchase the sex tape to keep it off the market. Adnan told Star magazine:

“There is no sex tape and I’ve never claimed there is one. I don’t know where these quotes I’m supposed to have said have come from. What I do know is they certainly didn’t come from me and they are completely false. I’m extremely upset and distressed and I’m taking legal action . . . This story has caused a lot of hurt to my family and people close to me. There is no sex tape. That is the end of the matter.” (Source)

This is the best news I’ve heard all day. Britney and Adnan fumbling around naked is really no different than one of those graphic PETA videos showing a cow being slaughtered. And trust me, you can’t masturbate to that. God knows I’ve tried.

[Pacific Coast News]

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Miley wants out

September 22nd, 2008 at 06:00pm Under 2008+ Miley Cyrus+ disney+ face+ http+ miley+ music+ tmz+ www

Do not want

Miley Cyrus allegedly wants off hit Disney show Hannah Montana so she can focus on her music career. Her strategy to get out of the contract? Poor work ethic. TMZ says:

Our spies on the set tell us Miley has bragged that she will get fired, making it clear she wants to focus on singing and not the show. For his part, Billy Ray has also made it clear that there is more money in singing than a Disney cable show. As a result, the father-daughter team has been showing up to the set ridiculously late, stalling production and infuriating cast and crew.

Sources tell us Billy Ray has told people on the set that he and Miley will do 12 more episodes and then they are out. Disney was so pissed they called his agent, railing that Billy Ray and Miley were ingrates. Disney insisted that Billy Ray and Miley not only finish the 24 episode season — but Disney was adding six more episodes. (Source)

Sounds like Miley wants to follow in her father’s footsteps . . . by fading into oblivion. There are a couple of old sayings Miley might want to think about before leaving the show that made her famous: “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”; “Never look a gift horse in the mouth”; and “If your father is a has-been redneck hillbilly who blew his entire fortune before you were born, it’s probably best you don’t follow his advice.”

[BauerGriffinOnline]

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Matt Damon talks politics

September 11th, 2008 at 11:00am Under Matt Damon+ Sarah Palin+ anxkrm9uejk+ http+ watch+ www+ youtube

Note to actors: stick to acting

Something tells me Matt Damon is not a Republican. In Toronto for the annual film festival, Damon said VP candidate Sarah Palin’s rise is “like a really bad Disney movie.” The actor said:

“I think there is a really good chance that Sarah Palin could president. And I think that’s a really scary thing because I don’t know anything about her. I don’t think in eight weeks I’m going to know anything about her. I know that she was a mayor of a really, really small town. And she’s governor of Alaska for less than two years. I just don’t understand . . . I think the pick was made for political purposes but in terms of governance it’s a disaster . . . You do the actuary tables and there’s a one out of three chance, if not more, that McCain doesn’t survive his first term and it will be President Palin. And it really . . . we were talking about it earlier . . . it’s like a really bad Disney movie. The Hockey Mom. ‘I’m just a hockey mom from Alaska.’ And she’s the President. And it’s like she’s facing down Vladimir Putin and using the folksy stuff she learned at the hockey rink. It’s absurd. It’s totally absurd.” (Source)

Didn’t Matt get the memo? All political commentary by celebrities must include threats to move to another country if McCain is elected. One more misstep Matt, and you’re gonna get you SAG card revoked.

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Paris responds to McCain

August 6th, 2008 at 10:30am Under 64ad536a6d+ John McCain+ Paris Hilton+ amp+ funny+ funnyordie+ http+ mccain+ responds+ videos

Paris Hilton unveils political ad

Paris Hilton fired back at John McCain by issuing a political ad of her own yesterday. You’ll recall the ad that McCain unveiled last week that claimed Barack Obama is an even bigger celebrity than her and Britney Spears. The funniest part of Paris’ new ad is when she boasts, “I’m just hot.” You gotta love ironic humor. Honestly . . . I would rather fuck McCain than that bitch and I’m not kidding. There’s something about liver spots that really turns me on. So hot!

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Paris and Britney have officially entered the political discourse

July 30th, 2008 at 03:15pm Under Barack Obama+ Britney Spears+ John McCain+ Paris Hilton+ http+ ohxysw_zdxg+ watch+ www+ youtube

Barack Obama compared to Paris Hilton and Britney Spears

In his latest ad for the 2008 election, John McCain invokes the power of Paris and Britney. As the narrator calls Barack Obama “the biggest celebrity in the world,” two pictures of Paris and Britney are quickly flashed on the screen. Damn that is low. Barack, I just wanna let you know that I’m here for you (read: give me $$$$$$$$$). If John McCain wants to turn this election into a celebrity analogy attack fest, I’m your man. I’ve already started working on some new slogans (the last one’s particularly cruel):

• John McCain: On key issues, he’s flip-flopped more times than Lindsay Lohan’s sexuality.

• John McCain: The only thing older than him is the dried semen on Pam Anderson’s underwear.

• John McCain: He fucked Paris Hilton. Twice.

Barack Obama is more famous than Paris and Britney

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John Mayer is in love

June 25th, 2008 at 12:30pm Under Aniston+ Jennifer Aniston+ John+ John Mayer+ Mayer+ gossip+ hookup+ htm+ http+ jennifer+ nypost+ pagesix+ www

Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer in Miami (5/11)

Before tabloids broke the news about him banging Jennifer Aniston, John Mayer was nice enough to call his ex Minka Kelly and apologize. A friend of Minka’s told the New York Post:

“Minka received a call from John prior to the story breaking about his relationship with Jennifer. He apologized to Minka, ‘Sorry, but I’m really in love.’ ” She found that interesting as, “during his relationship with her, John mentioned, ‘I don’t really get this Jennifer Aniston thing.’ ” (Source)

I’m not buying it. Aniston leaked this story. She’s desperate for attention. Mark my words, next week we’ll be reading about how Jen gives great BJs and bakes a killer chocolate chip cookie. John doesn’t even like her — he’s only with her because he’s up to “J” on his alphabetical list of “Famous Chicks to Bang.”

[BauerGriffinOnline]

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