Heidi Klum is offensive

Why? Because people are assholes. Regarding the kick-ass Goddess Kali costume Heidi Klum wore for Halloween, Indo-American “statesman” Rajan Zed said in a statement yesterday:

“Goddess Kali is highly revered in Hinduism and she is meant to be worshiped in temples and not to be used in clubs for publicity stunts or thrown around loosely for dramatic effects. Hindus welcome Hollywood and other entertainment industries to immerse themselves in Hinduism, but they should take it seriously and respectfully, and not just use the religion for decoration or to advance their selfish agenda. Casual flirting sometimes results in pillaging serious spiritual doctrines and revered symbols and hurting the devotees.”

Zed is not alone in his outrage — various other Hindu leaders, including Jawahar L. Khurana of the Hindu Alliance of India, and Bhavna Shinde of Hindu Janajagruti Samiti, have also criticized Klum for posing as Goddess Kali on Halloween, calling it “denigrating.” (Source)

Look, we should let her slide on this one. Even though Heidi’s at that age where supermodels hit the wall, she needs to stay relevant and edgy. And what’s the best way to increase your Google hits without hitting the party scene minus panties? That’s right, take a shot at one of the religions that won’t chop your head off for offending them. Heidi, dressing up as the Smurf God of Yanky Cranky is disrespectful and you should know better.

[WENN]

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt in Pacific Palisades (10/22)

Note to Barack Obama and John McCain: you want to win this election right now? Promise to deport Heidi and Spencer when you become President. I hear the Sudan is quite nice this time of year — the crisp fall air, the beautiful changing colors, the violent death squads settling in for winter, it’s the happening place to be.

[Pacific Coast News]

Those are actually the classiest shorts in the entire line

In news that’s sure to send ripples through strip club dressing rooms nationwide, Heidi Montag’s fashion line “Heidiwood” has been discontinued. Fox News says:

. . . Heidi Montag ’s collection “Heidiwood” has been discontinued. But apparently, it isn’t a reflection of poor sales, but that her parent retail company “Anchor Blue” is moving in a different direction and is expected to close around 40 stores across the U.S in the coming months. (Source)

See, the problem is all in the name of the brand. “Heidiwood” can be the name of any Norwegian furniture store. Throw a few bucks my way and I’ll give you a couple of ideas that will make you crap yourself, then crap on your loved ones. For example, what’s needed to keep the line going is a name that captures the true essence of Heidi Montag, like AttentionWhoreville, Twattytown, or Las Putas. That’s right, I got some Spanish for your ass.

[WENN]

Please tell me that’s a poison taco

Roughly a year after their first visit, Heidi and Spencer were back at Taco Bell yesterday to promote the “World Hunger Relief Movement.” The two even got into the spirit by manning the drive through window . . . or as Spencer called it: 2009.

NOTE: 18 more Heidi and Spencer pics on PAGE 2 (CLICK HERE)

CLICK HERE to jump to 18 more Heidi and Spencer pics on PAGE 2

NSFW!

Don’t click the picture. Just trust me dude, don’t click the picture.

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John Mayer wants him a piece of Heidi Klum

Note to Seal: John Mayer wants to bang your wife. Just thought I’d give you the heads up. From Page Six:

It’s not what you think: John Mayer did a semi-striptease for Heidi Klum last week at a SoHo hot spot, lowering his pants as he danced in front of the “Project Runway” host. Klum laughed hysterically, then chatted with the rocker until the wee hours. But Klum’s hubby, Seal, needn’t worry: they’re just old pals. (Source)

Seal better be careful. Considering how much of a size queen Heidi is, if John’s even got a quarter of an inch on him, he better be prepared to get his ass served with divorce papers. The quickest way to Heidi’s heart? Through her vadge. Literally.

[BauerGriffinOnline, Pacific Coast News, WENN]

Heidi Klum

Heidi Klum leaving Bristol Farms grocery store in West Hollywood (8/28)

[WENN]

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt at Gelson’s Market in Pacific Palisades (8/27)

Great news everybody. After seeing these ridiculous pics of Heidi and Spencer shopping yesterday, my hatred level for the couple has broken through the previous resistance level of 10 and is now at a 12. Top Wall Street analysts believe hatred levels could “easily” reach 20 by year’s end.

[Pacific Coast News]

Heidi Cortez

American model Heidi Cortez

CLICK HERE to jump to 22 more Heidi Cortez pics on PAGE 2

Heidi Klum topless! (Ponza, Italy - 8/6)

Apparently it’s “Topless Supermodel Day” here at Celebslam (Cindy Crawford earlier). I’ve actually been writing the President for the past few years urging him to make that a national holiday. I mean, Christmas? Who the fuck celebrates that anymore? My grandparents maybe. Am I right or am I right!

NOTE: For the full set of Heidi Klum topless pics check out: Splash News