divorce

GTFO

December 18th, 2008 at 06:00pm Under Guy Ritchie+ divorce+ guy+ madonna+ settlement

Madonna is a manipulative bitch

That press release on Monday — the one that claimed Guy Ritchie was receiving $76 million+ in a divorce settlement — that Madonna apparently had no idea about even though it was put out by her publicist? Turns out it was a carefully crafted PR move to make Guy look like a greedy asshole and Madonna was behind the whole thing. Shocked? Yes? Then you’re a moron. A friend of Guy’s told the Daily Mail:

“Guy couldn’t stand by while this happened It was not just a case of misinformation being leaked out by Madonna’s team to better her image. Madonna actually sanctioned her PR to make an official statement about the settlement which had been massively exaggerated. The intention had presumably been to make Guy look money-grabbing and to make Madonna look generous. But it backfired. Madonna is clearly used to controlling things, but it wasn’t going to happen this time.” (Source)

You know what’d be awesome? If the next time Guy Ritchie sees Madonna he tells her he wants to give her a hug to show that he holds no ill feelings but instead of actually hugging her he punched her in the jaw.

[WENN]

Tags: celebrity celebrity gossip celebs celeb gossip hollywoo

By BLZ Continue Reading GTFO Add comment

A-Rod joining Madonna in London for Christmas

December 17th, 2008 at 11:15am Under Alex Rodriguez+ Guy Ritchie+ affair+ awkward+ divorce+ madonna+ sex

A-Rod abandoning his family for Christmas

In what might go down as the most awkward Christmas ever, Madonna is flying A-Rod to London to join Guy Ritchie and her for Christmas. Wait, did A-Rod forget he has kids and they probably want to see their dad on Christmas? Aw, fuck ‘em. A source told The Sun:

“She wants the kids to be with their parents but wants time with A-Rod too. She knows he lives large and that he loves the fact she’s his equal for earning power. She wants to treat him. The kids are the biggest thing and she’ll plan for them but still have a bit of the Christmas she wanted.” (Source)

My initial reaction to this story was, wow, Guy is gonna beat the shit out of that pussy A-Rod. But then I realized, if you’re Guy Ritchie, aren’t you throwing that guy a giant thank-you party? If not for his affair with Madonna, maybe Guy tries to work things out with her and ends up miserable for the next ten years. Enter A-Rod, enter freedom and a $76 million+ divorce settlement. If I was Guy Ritchie, I’d do everything short of blow A-Rod during his visit.

[BauerGriffinOnline]

Tags: celebrity celebrity gossip celebs celeb gossip hollywoo

By BLZ Continue Reading A-Rod joining Madonna in London for Christmas Add comment

Settlement +1

December 16th, 2008 at 01:00pm Under Guy Ritchie+ divorce+ london+ madonna+ money

Guy Ritchie in London (12/16)

You know how World War II veterans refer to one day after D-Day as “D-Day +1″ or five days as “D-Day +5″? D-Day was the beginning of the end of the war so every day after was related to it. I think it’d be cool to refer to Guy Ritchie and Madonna’s settlement date in the same sort of way. We can help Madonna remember the day she lost $76 million+ and also track the fabulous time Guy’s having spending it. If all goes well, we’ll slowly drive her insane.

[BauerGriffinOnline]

Tags: celebrity celebrity gossip celebs celeb gossip hollywoo

By BLZ Continue Reading Settlement +1 Add comment

Madonna got bent over

December 15th, 2008 at 05:15pm Under Guy Ritchie+ divorce+ guy+ madonna+ millions+ settlement

Madonna to pay ex-husband Guy Ritchie at least $76 million

Remember all those reports about how Guy Ritchie didn’t want one cent of Madonna’s $400 million+ fortune? Remember how you thought to yourself, “WTF? But Madonna’s a bitch. Guy should take her to the cleaners.” Guess what? He did. From the Associated Press:

Madonna has settled her divorce with ex-husband Guy Ritchie for at least 50 million pounds ($76 million), the singer’s spokeswoman said Monday.

Liz Rosenberg told The Associated Press the settlement was in the range of 50 million to 60 million pounds ($76 million to $92 million) as part of their divorce agreement, a figure she said included the value of the couple’s country home, Ashcombe House in western England. Rosenberg said the couple’s west London pub — the Punchbowl — would also remain with Ritchie.

“I’d assume it’s one of the largest payouts ever in a divorce settlement,” Rosenberg said. (Source)

Almost a quarter of her fortune? Ouch. You know, there’s a part of me that almost feels sorry for Madonna. Oh wait . . . no there’s not. AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!

[Splash News]

Tags: celebrity celebrity gossip celebs celeb gossip hollywoo

By BLZ Continue Reading Madonna got bent over Add comment

$100 million

December 5th, 2008 at 09:15am Under Morgan Freeman+ divorce+ freeman+ morgan+ split

Morgan Freeman to pay nine digit divorce settlement?

Morgan Freeman’s wife Myrna stands to net more than $100 million in a potential divorce settlement from the actor. Freeman and his wife of 24 years have been separated for more than a year. From Bill Zwecker at the Chicago Sun Times:

Original estimates put the actor’s net worth in the $75 million to $90 million range, but now it is being reported he may be worth as much as three to four times that amount.

Among assets contributing to the actor’s bounty are a very valuable gold coin collection, a rare stamp collection, a $7 million home in the Virgin Islands, real estate in Freeman’s native Mississippi worth nearly $30 million (including a $5 million personal home), a $10 million New York apartment and a $15 million Los Angeles estate.

”Morgan has always remembered what it was like to be a poor, struggling actor, and as a result he has always been very careful with his money. Morgan isn’t cheap, but he has always been pretty frugal,” a longtime associate told me Tuesday. (Source)

This is exactly why you shouldn’t get married. You’ll find yourself spending your whole adult life accumulating wealth only to see half of it flushed down the toilet in an instant. If I wanted that sort of return on my money, I’d invest it in the stock market.

[WENN]

Tags: celebrity celebrity gossip celebs celeb gossip hollywoo

By BLZ Continue Reading $100 million Add comment

Mel Gibson’s a dumbass

December 1st, 2008 at 03:00pm Under 170208+ Mel Gibson+ Robyn+ divorce+ gaiety+ gibson+ mel

Can he ever not act creepy?

Mel Gibson — worth north of $900 million — is probably cheating on his wife. He has no prenup. Ouch. From the National Enquirer:

Mel Gibson is facing Hollywood’s most costly divorce ever - a vicious battle over his whopping $900 million fortune. Shocking new photographs of the rough-and-tumble Oscar winner with a sexy young Russian singer could be the final straw for the actor’s long-suffering wife Robyn, sources told the Enquirer. The exotic beauty — a leggy 28-year-old brunette named Oksana — was first spotted with Gibson, 52, in September. She popped up again on the set of his latest movie a few weeks later — and for Robyn, it will be the final nail in the couple’s turbulent 28-year-marriage, insiders say.

“Robyn’s had enough,” a close family friend tells the Enquirer, “She’s been to hell and back with Mel over the years. The drinking, the cheating, the temper tantrums. The last time Robyn took him back she told him, ‘This is your last chance. If you ever embarrass me again, we’re done.’ And now she intends to keep her word. Robyn is finished with him. It’s about respect now. Mel was spotted going into his trailer three days in a row with this girl in September. Tongues were wagging that it was a full-fledged affair.” (Print Edition - 12/1)

If there were ever a wife that deserved half of her husband’s fortune, it’s Robyn. Not only has she put up with Mel’s drinking, womanizing, and accent all these years, but after seven kids, her vag has to be almost as gaping as Paris Hilton’s. For Mel’s sake, hopefully that craigslist ad he posted yesterday pays off and he finds himself a good lawyer:

Divorce Lawyer Needed

Requirements:

1. Your ancestors didn’t kill Jesus Christ

2. Actually, that’s pretty much it

Contact Mel at (310)XXX-4840

[WENN]

Tags: celebrity celebrity gossip celebs celeb gossip hollywoo

By BLZ Continue Reading Mel Gibson’s a dumbass Add comment

Amy’s single!

November 24th, 2008 at 03:15pm Under Amy Winehouse+ Blake Fielder-Civil+ divorce+ england+ sex+ split

Amy Winehouse and her husband break up

So I guess Amy Winehouse and her husband Blake Fielder-Civil broke up. News of the World says he’s shacking up with German model Sophie Schandorff. It’s cool with Amy because the only thing she had in common with Blake was a hot body. Amy told the tabloid:

“It’s over. There’s no way back for us now. It was never going to last. We were only together for sex. I fancied him like mad, like no one else I’ve ever known. But it’s not enough, is it?”

Amy’s friend added:

“Amy told me they were mad for each other, experimenting all the time. Mostly it was Blake suggesting new things but Amy doesn’t need encouragement. They were like animals, at it all the time. Just like they were with drugs, they pushed themselves to the limit. They were into threesomes. It was Blake’s idea but Amy said she’d been with women before so it wasn’t a problem. She said she’s had a string of female lovers. Whenever Blake said he wanted three-in-a-bed Amy would fix it. They didn’t care about sharing themselves with others because it turned them on. They thought they were on this sexual journey together. And the pair of them were into some real kinky stuff, not just the usual bondage and sex games but really gross stuff you couldn’t mention in a newspaper.” (Source)

This week’s SAT practice question is: How much money would it take for you to join in a threesome with Blake Fielder-Civil and Amy Winehouse?

A). $100,000
B). $1,000,000
C). $10,000,000
D). Are you fucking kidding me? I’d rather light my dick on fire and put it out in a bucket of acid than get near those two walking yeast infections.

If you chose any other answer besides “D”, remember that you can’t take your money with you when you die of ~~AIDS~~ ~~Syphilis~~ shame.

[BauerGriffinOnline]

Tags: celebrity celebrity gossip celebs celeb gossip hollywoo

By BLZ Continue Reading Amy’s single!Add comment

Linda Hogan needs more

November 24th, 2008 at 09:15am Under Charley Hill+ Hulk Hogan+ Linda Hogan+ divorce+ leech+ money+ whore

Linda Hogan and Charley Hill at the Palms Hotel in Las Vegas (5/31)

Apparently the $40k in alimony Linda Hogan is getting from estranged husband Hulk Hogan just isn’t enough. She wants a Pinellas County, Fla., judge to the increase the amount of the temporary payments she’s receiving (the couple’s divorce isn’t final yet). Why? So she can send her 19-year-old boyfriend to school of course. Obviously. From TMZ:

Recession or not, it’s extremely hard to balance a budget on $40,000 a month. That’s why Linda Hogan needs more. Oh did we mention — she wants Hulk to foot the bill for her 19-year-old boyfriend’s nautical tuition?

Charley Hill wants to go to sea school, and Linda wants Hulk to pay for what could be the next Captain & Tennille. Getting back to why $40,000 isn’t enough, Linda blew $14 grand at a Bev Hills Doctor’s office this week. Hulk says it’s for cosmetic surgery. (Source)

You have to empathize with Linda. How is she possibly supposed to live on $40,000 a month? Her hair dye, spray on tan, and saline replacements alone cost more than that. The silver lining is that Charley doesn’t need to pay to go to nautical school. If he wants to learn about sea life, he just needs to put his head between Linda’s legs. There he’ll find crabs, a clam, and the distinct smell of fish.

[WENN]

Tags: celebrity celebrity gossip celebs celeb gossip hollywoo

By BLZ Continue Reading Linda Hogan needs more Add comment

Larry King is a dumbass

November 21st, 2008 at 05:40pm Under Larry King+ Shawn King+ divorce+ prenup+ settlement+ split

“Get off my lawn!”

Even though he’d been divorced six times before, Larry King didn’t sign a prenup when he married Shawn Southwick in 1997. Last week the National Enquirer revealed that Shawn’s been screwing another dude for the past six months. But don’t worry, Larry’s getting screwed too. Out of 50 million dollars. An insider told the tabloid:

“Shawn has had her share of problems with pills. And to her credit — with Larry’s help — she went to rehab and cleaned up, but the cheating can’t be dismissed. Larry has every right to dump her for what she did to him. But Larry refuses to do that - right now. Still, the thought surely can’t have escaped him. If Larry decided to dump Shawn, he could be on the hook to her for $50 million — despite what she did to him. That’s a lot of money — and it’s only compounded by the grief she’s put him through.” (Print Edition - 11/24)

Am I the only one who sees the positive in all this? If Larry plays the sympathy card right, this would be the perfect time to finally get Shawn to do anal.

[WENN]

Tags: celebrity celebrity gossip celebs celeb gossip hollywoo

By BLZ Continue Reading Larry King is a dumbass Add comment

It’s final

November 21st, 2008 at 12:15pm Under Guy Ritchie+ ciccone+ divorce+ madonna+ ritchie

Madonna and Guy Ritchie’s divorce is final

Madonna and Guy Ritchie finalized their divorce today at a court in London. The two were granted a so-called “quickie divorce.” Madonna listed the reason for the split as Guy’s “continuing unreasonable behavior.” Whatever bitch. You want to know what’s unreasonable? Five hour workouts every day. Muscles aren’t supposed to develop muscles. You want to know what else is unreasonable? Level Five on Contra. Seriously, how do you beat it without the spread gun?

[Splash News, WENN]

Tags: celebrity celebrity gossip celebs celeb gossip hollywoo

By BLZ Continue Reading It’s final Add comment

« Previous Entries