Amy Winehouse

Amy’s back with a vengeance

March 2nd, 2009 at 03:00pm Under Amy Winehouse

Amy Winehouse is back in LondonAmy Winehouse's two-month St. Lucia vacation is over. The singer enjoyed a calm, relaxing flight back to London early Sunday morning. Just kidding, it was chaos. A witness told the Daily Mail:"I was pretty shocked... ...read full story

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Amy Winehouse switches teams

February 26th, 2009 at 11:00am Under Amy Winehouse

Amy Winehouse switches teamsQuick, think of the most disturbing thing possible involving Amy Winehouse . . . if you're anything like me, the words "lesbian sex" immediately popped into your head. Oh hey, guess what. From the Daily Mirror:Amy... ...read full story

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Amy’s first collapse of the year

February 17th, 2009 at 11:52am Under Amy Winehouse

Amy Winehouse collapses in St. LuciaWow, I can't believe Amy lasted until mid-February. It's a Christmas miracle! From The Sun:Amy Winehouse was in hospital [Saturday night] after collapsing on the island of St Lucia. The drug addict star, 25, was... ...read full story

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Amy Winehouse is glowing

January 14th, 2009 at 12:30pm Under Amy Winehouse

Amy Winehouse at Le Sport resort in St. Lucia

"I’ve finally escaped from hell. I’m in love again and I don't need drugs. Look at me, I’m glowing!" - Amy Winehouse last Sunday in an interview with News of the World. And here's what The Sun said today:

WASTED AMY WINEHOUSE is reduced to crawling up to holidaymakers and grabbing their drinks — after fed-up resort staff refused to serve her. The sneaky singer also BEGS guests to order booze for her at the all-inclusive Caribbean resort. Bizarrely Amy, who has fought addictions to drugs and alcohol, is at the posh Le Sport Spa on the sunshine isle of St Lucia for a HEALTH KICK.

Each day seems to start with good intentions as she limbers up with yoga-style stretches before swinging into action on exercise rings. But by lunchtime bikini-clad Amy is relaxing with a drink on the beach or even openly smoking joints by the pool. Come nightfall and she is hitting the bottle with pals — despite the booze ban agreed by her management and staff.

A source at the £200-a-night resort said: "We keep catching her crawling past bars, or hiding behind chairs. She grabs guests’ drinks and runs off, like a squirrel with a nut." (Source)

So Amy's crawling around, hiding behind chairs, and stealing people's booze before they notice her? Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to the world's first alcoholic ninja.

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Amy’s in trouble!

January 9th, 2009 at 06:09pm Under Amy Winehouse

Amy Winehouse in St. Lucia (1/7)

Crack isn't the only thing that might kill Amy Winehouse this year. It was learned on Wednesday that she's one of a handful of British celebs on a terrorism hit list. From NME:

Reports have emerged today (January 7) claiming that Amy Winehouse and Mark Ronson have been included on a "terror target" hit list made in reaction to the current conflict in the Gaza region. The Sun said comments were made on the forum of Ummah.com. A post on the forum apparently called for users to compile "a list of top Jews we can target", which included both Winehouse and Ronson's names. British anti-terror expert Glen Jenvey told The Sun that the comments should be taken seriously.

"The Ummah website has been used by extremists," he said. "Those listed should treat it very seriously. Expect a hate campaign and intimidation by 20 or 30 thugs." (Source)

Good for Amy. This is the first kind of "Hit List" she's been on in months. Actually, threatening to "target" Amy Winehouse might be the best recruiting idea terrorist organizations have had since 1983.* Who wouldn't want to join in? I'd enlist if I weren't allergic to explosions and women with more facial hair than me. If taking out Amy will end the war in Gaza, there's only one sensible thing for her to do: become a martyr.

*1983 was the year Michael Bolton's first CD was released. Not many people know this but he's actually a creation of Al Qaeda used to build up hate and anger against the West.

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Amy’s in trouble!

January 9th, 2009 at 06:09pm Under Amy Winehouse

Reports have emerged today (January 7) claiming that Amy Winehouse and Mark Ronson have been included on a "terror target" hit list made in reaction to the current conflict in the Gaza region. The Sun said comments were made on the forum of Ummah.com. A post on the forum apparently called for users to compile "a list of top Jews we can target", which included both Winehouse and Ronson's names. British anti-terror expert Glen Jenvey told The Sun that the comments should be taken seriously.

"The Ummah website has been used by extremists," he said. "Those listed should treat it very seriously. Expect a hate campaign and intimidation by 20 or 30 thugs." (Source)

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Amy has a new man

January 6th, 2009 at 04:30pm Under Amy Winehouse+ Joshua Bowman

Amy Winehouse and Joshua Bowman in St. Lucia (1/4)

Amy Winehouse has a new man. And he's not a drug addict. Wait, what? The 25-year-old singer has been pictured "frolicking" the beaches of St. Lucia with 21-year-old rugby player Joshua Bowman. In an interview with the Daily Mail, he said:

"She's just a cool girl, very nice, and we're just very friendly. She's a good laugh - she is such a lovely girl and on great form. I can't say much more than that. I have been having a lovely time relaxing. It's not been all party-party. I don't drink much at all as it happens.

"It's true to say that I'm a budding young actor. But I'd rather get my name out there because of my acting rather than who I'm being photographed with. I wasn't waiting until there was a photographer on the beach to put my arm around Amy. I have been living in New York for the past year and have only just arrived back in the UK. I am just auditioning." (Source)

What a crazy coincidence that an aspiring actor just so happened to hook up with a woman in the tabloids nearly every day. Well you know how the old saying goes: Love works in mysterious, profitable ways.

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Amy Winehouse’s ex-lover talks

December 30th, 2008 at 09:20am Under Alex Haines+ Amy Winehouse

Amy Winehouse's ex-lover Alex Haines talks

I don't know what's worse: having sex with Amy Winehouse or admitting that you had sex with Amy Winehouse. Amy's ex-lover Alex Haines gave an exclu$ive interview to UK tabloid News of the World over the weekend where he admitted that, yes, he tapped dat ass:

"It was like having my own little porn star. Amy was so dirty—she wanted sex all the time. We did it four or five times a day and she'd even wake me up for it. She was addicted to sex like she was to drugs."

*pukes in mouth*

"I was my job to look after her. But it was impossible. I thought she wouldn't survive the year with all the drugs and self-harming. Cutting herself was her favourite pastime . . . She reckoned she would join the 27 club of rock stars who died at that age. She told me, 'I have a feeling I am gonna die young'."

*pokes eyes out with fork*

"When Amy woke up the first thing she'd ask was, 'Where's my pipe?'. She often made crack pipes by putting foil on top of plastic bottles and then burning the drug. While she got it going I made toast with butter and a cup of tea for her. It was her normal breakfast. When Amy ran out of the drug it she would cut the bottle in half and sit there on the floor completely wired, scraping the inside to get the residue with a screwdriver. She had to have a heroin and crack pipe near her or she freaked out. She'd keep taking drugs until she passed out. I reckon she spent £3,500 a week on them."

*lights self on fire* . . . seriously, I can't take much more of this.

"Amy suffered from bulimia, which is why she looked so thin. She would have a massive McDonalds and then throw it all up in the bathroom. I found my toothbrush covered in sick, and asked her about it. She went really sheepish but told me she suffered from it for a long time. Several times I went into her bathroom and saw sick all over the sink." (Source)

Thanks to Alex, we now know how much Amy spent on drugs each week. An even more pressing question: How much did she have to pay him for sex? Based on her appearance, that bill -- not the £3,500 worth of crack -- was probably her biggest expense. Amy is clearheaded about one thing however -- she will die at a young age. But not of an overdose. Of AIDS.

NOTE: With all of that self-induced vomiting, Amy's throat must have been as raw as Paris Hilton's after a Beverly Hills High School football/basketball/volleyball/soccer game.

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Amy’s being blackmailed

December 9th, 2008 at 09:15am Under Amy Winehouse+ Blake Fielder-Civil+ crackhead+ drugs+ whore+ winehouse

Amy Winehouse being blackmailed by her estranged husband

Amy Winehouse’s estranged husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, is threatening to write an embarrassing tell-all about the troubled star unless she pays him a shitload of money. Last week Blake told UK tabloid News of the World that he wasn’t interested in Amy’s money. A friend of Amy’s claims that’s a lie:

“That’s all pretence — Blake has asked Amy’s manager for £1MILLION to walk away from their marriage and not write a tell-all book about it. He’s so two-faced. He just wants a pay-off. Money’s his driving force.” (Source)

What could Blake possibly say at this point that would be so shocking that Amy would be willing to pay over $1 million to keep it quiet? At this point, if he revealed that she gave prostate massages to seahorses for money to buy mastodon feces which she snorted off of transvestite hookers I wouldn’t be surprised. I would however wonder one thing: how do I reach her dealer?

[BauerGriffonOnline]

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Amy Winehouse has the worst luck with medication

November 26th, 2008 at 09:15am Under Amy Winehouse+ cocaine+ crack+ drugs+ overdose

“Abbbajibbajabbawockawockajibba!”

Man, Amy Winehouse has the darnedest luck with medication. Remember back in July when Amy was rushed to the hospital after suffering a bad reaction to medication? — and not because she overdosed on an “inhuman amount” of hash, you bunch of liars. It happened again on Sunday. I’LL GET YOU TYLENOL FOR HURTING MY AMY! From CNN:

Troubled singer Amy Winehouse has been admitted to a London hospital after suffering a bad reaction to medication, her representative said Tuesday. Winehouse, 25, went to the private London Clinic on Sunday, said her spokesman, Chris Goodman. He said Winehouse’s medication made her ill and her doctors asked her to come in so they could investigate.

Goodman did not disclose what type of medication was involved, saying only it is part of her “ongoing treatment.” It was not clear Tuesday whether she had been discharged. (Source)

We’re supposed to believe that she had a “bad reaction” to her “medication”? I’m not buying it. Amy was only on three types of medication: 1. Meth, 2. Heroin, and 3. Epzicom. And in case any of you were wondering, “ongoing treatment” is code for free-basing your breakfast, lunch, dinner, and fourthmeal (Amy’s a Taco Bell fan).

NOTE: If Amy really wants to kick her addiction to drugs once and for all, there’s only one option I’d recommend: overdose.