20-year-old Miss Japan ended up winning the 2007 Miss Universe pageant yesterday night, although Miss USA Rachel Smith totally should"ve won it. No, wait, did I say win? I meant place last. Because she definitely should"ve placed last (she got fourth runner-up). She slipped and fell during the evening gown portion and, well, that"s kind of a big deal when you"re in a competition where the only judging criteria are how you look in a bikini and your ability to walk.
Check out the video of Miss USA eating it after the jump.
Mischa Barton was rushed to the hospital last night after suffering an adverse reaction to medication while at a friend"s Memorial Day BBQ. She began feeling sick after downing some cocktails which reacted with antibiotics she had been taking to treat bronchitis. TMZ reports:
The 21-year-old celeb was rushed to an undisclosed medical facility in Los Angeles, where we are told she is "resting comfortably" ... the starlet is with family and "feeling much better."
I learned not to mix alcohol with medication in the second grade. Although to be fair to Mischa, I also designed a car that runs entirely on water when I was in kindergarten, and graduated from Harvard when I was twelve.
And here"s Mischa Barton and Nicole Richie loading up on groceries right before that fateful Memorial Day BBQ. Judging by the events of the BBQ (and my x-ray glasses) the bags are filled with vodka, cigarettes, and maybe some coloring books. You know, for mental stimulation.
In case you went on vacation over Memorial Day weekend like I did and missed it, Lindsay Lohan was arrested in Beverly Hills and charged with a misdemeanor DUI early Saturday morning after she crashed her 2005 Mercedes SL-65 convertible into a curb and some trees at 5:30 AM and then fled the scene. She was cited and then released because she has been admitted to a local hospital for minor injuries to her upper chest. Additionally, police found a "usable amount" of cocaine in her car which she could face additional charges for. The AP reports.
At the press conference Lt. McCann said: "A usable amount of an illegal narcotic tentatively identified as cocaine was recovered and booked. She was charged with a misdemeanor. There is a potential for additional charges." Her tentative arraignment date is Aug. 24.
I"m not entirely sure how she isn"t in jail right now. Considering herdriving and substance abuse record, the police could shoot her in the head and it"d be totally legal. It might even be written into the Constitution somewhere. You know, near the bottom.
NOTE: Sorry it took so long to get this up. The moral of the story is: never ever go on vacation. At least not while retarded young girls are still considered celebrities. You never know what kind of insanity you"ll miss.
Lindsay Lohan says she"s collaborating with the CEO of Maverick Records, Guy Oseary, and is going to start work on a new album which will have an "urban pop" sound. She tells MTV News, "We"ll start in probably June or July and take four months."
The only song I know from her first album was her single, and judging by that I"d say it"d be pretty hard for this new one to be any worse. The entire album could be her coughing and banging on bongos and it"d still be an improvement. Although I pray to God they let her write one of her own songs. Because, you know, she"s really talented and I"m sure it"d be really good. What did you think I was going to say? You"re mean.
And here"s Lindsay Lohan at Hyde with her bra just completely hanging out.
Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt were spotted on the red carpet of the Ocean"s 13 premiere at the Cannes Film Festival Thursday. Angelina looked like her usual self, but Brad showed up looking like that kid in elementary school I used to take lunch money from and give wedgies. Although to be fair, I basically did that to every single person at my school, including the teachers and principal. Being 6"2" at the age of 12 and having tree trunks for arms sort of helped. Drink your milk, kids.
Britney Spears was spotted in her bikini on a yacht at Marina del Rey yesterday. Which would"ve produced boners seven years ago, but now sounds like some sort of threat. And it"s hard to tell for sure, but judging from thesethreepictures it looks like she forgot to shave her armpits. "Forgot" implying that she usually does. Who knows these days. She could grow a beard and a mustache and it would actually make sense to me.
A ton more of Britney Spears in her bikini at Marina del Rey after the jump.
Fox News brought in the most batshit crazy woman in the world to call the American Idol winner Jordan Sparks obese. I"m all for making fun of people but this bitch is out of he mind. I defy you to sit through this without wanting to punch the woman in the throat. I also defy you to stare into my eyes without getting lost in a sea of beauty and mystery. It"s been scientifically proven to be impossible.
In a message to her fans on her personal site, Jessica Simpson says she was inspired by Michelangelo and is on a path of self discovery. She writes:
Hey everyone. I hope you are all doing well! I am getting ready to start MAJOR MOVIE STAR and I am so excited! I just got back from spending some time in Europe, and while I was there I visited many museums, and have been reading about different artists. I have also been writing a lot in my journal recently. I was reading a book about Michelangelo and there were 2 quotes that caught my attention -
"I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free." Michelangelo
^(3)Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.^(2)
These quotes inspired me to write the below passage. I hope you can find your own individual meaning in it, as I keep coming back to it and find new strength.
"Sometimes we are all so afraid to be honest with ourselves because we know that honesty will lead us somewhere off the path of the life we"ve mapped out in our minds. Today, I challenge us to ask ourselves this...
What if we allow our fear to provoke us into action?
Can facing our fear be what walks us to somewhere better?
I do not have your answers, but in the quest to find my own, I"ve discovered somewhere worth traveling to...
In my life, I ignore my fears too often, but then I"m left with nothing to challenge the best of me. I just remain cowering from my true identity. There is no discovery."
No, that"s not a mistake, she actually quoted herself. And it"s not like there"s anything wrong with what she wrote, but you"d have to be an idiot to seek advice from Jessica Simpson. If you"re looking for imaginary boobs to squeeze, Jessica Simpson"s your woman. But if you"re looking for life lessons, you"d be better off listening to your pet turtle.
The National Enquirer is claiming that Britney Spears and Ryan Phillippe hooked up in a bathroom at Les Deux last week. A source told the magazine that Ryan stopped by Britney"s table and "Britney had her arms around him." She then allegedly followed Phillippe into the men"s room and, after getting worried, her bodyguards are said to have "busted in the door and found Britney and Ryan groping and kissing."
I want to believe this is true, but I have serious problems believing Ryan Phillippe would make out with Britney Spears. Housetraining maybe, but not making out. It"s not like he"s getting Reese Witherspoon quality women anymore, but he"s still a few steps above farm animal.
Because the power of Jesus might not be enough to save her, Paris Hilton was spotted at the Buddhist bookstore, Bodhi Tree, in Hollywood. Her lawyers have apparently told her to "live like a nun" if she has any chance of evading jail so she"s taken this to mean getting photographed with as many religious books as possible. She"s also allegedly told friends she"s quitting alcohol and partying and has even replaced her skimpy outfits with a new "demure" look.
Why not go all the way and just put on a fake beard and white robe? Carrying around religious books is pretty good, but nothing beats actually turning into God.
20-year-old Miss Japan ended up winning the 2007 Miss Universe pageant yesterday night, although Miss USA Rachel Smith totally should"ve won it. No, wait, did I say win? I meant place last. Because she definitely should"ve placed last (she got fourth runner-up). She slipped and fell during the evening gown portion and, well, that"s kind of a big deal when you"re in a competition where the only judging criteria are how you look in a bikini and your ability to walk.
Check out the video of Miss USA eating it after the jump.
Mischa Barton was rushed to the hospital last night after suffering an adverse reaction to medication while at a friend"s Memorial Day BBQ. She began feeling sick after downing some cocktails which reacted with antibiotics she had been taking to treat bronchitis. 
In case you went on vacation over Memorial Day weekend like I did and missed it, Lindsay Lohan was arrested in Beverly Hills and charged with a misdemeanor DUI early Saturday morning after she crashed her 2005 Mercedes SL-65 convertible into a curb and some trees at 5:30 AM and then fled the scene. She was cited and then released because she has been admitted to a local hospital for minor injuries to her upper chest. Additionally, police found a "usable amount" of cocaine in her car which she could face additional charges for. The 
Lindsay Lohan says she"s collaborating with the CEO of Maverick Records, Guy Oseary, and is going to start work on a new album which will have an "urban pop" sound. She tells 
Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt were spotted on the red carpet of the Ocean"s 13 premiere at the Cannes Film Festival Thursday. Angelina looked like her usual self, but Brad showed up looking like that kid in elementary school I used to take lunch money from and give wedgies. Although to be fair, I basically did that to every single person at my school, including the teachers and principal. Being 6"2" at the age of 12 and having tree trunks for arms sort of helped. Drink your milk, kids.
Britney Spears was spotted in her bikini on a yacht at Marina del Rey yesterday. Which would"ve produced boners seven years ago, but now sounds like some sort of threat. And it"s hard to tell for sure, but judging from 
In a message to her fans on her 
The National Enquirer is claiming that Britney Spears and Ryan Phillippe hooked up in a bathroom at Les Deux last week. A source told the magazine that Ryan stopped by Britney"s table and "Britney had her arms around him." She then allegedly followed Phillippe into the men"s room and, after getting worried, her bodyguards are said to have "busted in the door and found Britney and Ryan groping and kissing."
I want to believe this is true, but I have serious problems believing Ryan Phillippe would make out with Britney Spears. Housetraining maybe, but not making out. It"s not like he"s getting Reese Witherspoon quality women anymore, but he"s still a few steps above farm animal.
Because 
