Jessica Simpson was spotted getting dinner with her hair dresser Ken Paves over the weekend, and then the two caught a show together at The Dresden. And I don"t know what she did, but she looks remarkably better than she did two weeks ago. Although judging by the way she"s wearing her boobs these days, I wouldn"t even notice if her face was missing. There could be a bloody stump where her head should be, and I"d still just be sitting here trying to squeeze my monitor with both hands.

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Kate Bosworth was spotted on a Maui beach in her bikini looking like she put on a few pounds. Yeah, this is her after gaining weight. Although compared to how she used to look, these could be pictures of a bikini hanging from a broom and it would still look like she put on some weight. For reference, this is what her chest used to look like. If you don"t feel like clicking the link, just picture Gollum"s body, and it"s a little more disgusting than that. A ton more of Kate Bosworth in her bikini after the jump.

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Lindsay Lohan tells Nylon magazine she has a shopping problem. She says:

"I talk about my impulses with my therapist - I have a shopping problem. I love to shop too much."

She also adds that she loves being photographed and enjoys the attention from the paparazzi.

"I get embarrassed about the paparazzi if I"m in a chic restaurant, or when I was in the AA meetings ... I feel really disrespectful because those people are doing that for themselves and it"s no one else"s business. But that was the only time it was embarrassing. Other times, I obviously like it ... I wouldn"t ever want them to not take my picture ... I"d be worried. I"d be like "Do people not care for me?"?

She could"ve announced that chocolate is delicious and it would"ve been more shocking news. And for no reason, here"s Lindsay dressed as some sort of slutty Waldo at the Coachella Music Festival over the weekend. Source

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Britney Spears was spotted shopping in Los Angeles wearing whatever this is. She could be carrying around a magnifying glass and wearing a cape and it would make just as much sense. And for some reason she thinks her cowgirl boots go with everything. You could throw a blind person in a dumpster and they'd crawl out wearing a better outfit. A bunch more of Britney Spears in her see-through bikini outfit after the jump. UPDATE: Britney Spears was pulled over for speeding on Friday but let go with a warning. And since there's no way that deserved it's own post, I just stuck it on the end of this one.

Victoria Beckham was spotted in LAX wearing the most see-through shirt possible. She was wearing a bra underneath, but that would only matter if her breasts weren"t the hardest substance on earth. I read in a science journal once that if you take her nipple and rub it against diamond, the diamond gets scratched. Although it was less of a science journal, and more of a post-it note with "Victoria Beckham"s nipples > diamond" scribbled on it. By me. With crayon. So really, even more scientific than a science journal. Most of these are slightly NSFW.

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Sources say that possible replacements being considered to replace Rosie O"Donnell next year on The View are Joan Rivers, Whoopi Goldberg, Kathie Lee Gifford and Connie Chung, but that Roseanne Barr is currently the top contender.

"They"re missing strong personalities on that show, and that"s what they"re going to need if they want to keep it going," an ABC staffer close to the situation told the Post. "It"s going to be hard for them to follow Rosie," says an industry insider. "Roseanne could be the only one capable of pulling it off."

It"s like their only requirement for the job is being fat and annoying. They could replace Rosie O"Donnell with a giant screeching bat and it"d be the least annoying choice. Probably also the best looking. Source

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Tobey Maguire smacked a camera out of the hand of a fan who tried to get his picture while he was headed back to his hotel in Paris. The guy wasn"t even paparazzi. It"s like the cast of Spider-Man is having a competition to see who can make me hate them the most. Tobey Maguire is being a dick and Kirsten Dunst is, well, just being herself. Which, ironically, puts her in the lead for the fifth straight year in a row. And also in a never ending battle against werewolves. Source

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Maris Miller was spotted at the Us Magazine Hot Hollywood 2007 Party in a top that"s barely holding her breasts in. I imagine this is what Lindsay Lohan will look like in 10 years if she grows a foot, loses 20 lbs, and turns hot. And also gets a face transplant. And body transplant. Basically the only way she"ll look like this is if Marisa Miller changes her name to Lindsay Lohan.

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Lindsay Lohan is so full of herself it"s starting to rub off on her help. Lohan"s driver plowed into Tony Bennett"s daughter on Wednesday and then started screaming at her, even using the "Don"t you know who I am?" line. Antonia Bennett says:

"[He] was hostile with me. He ran into me, then got out of his car and started yelling at me." Her manager, Keya Morgan, said Zagata was waiting to pick up Lohan in the parking lot of the Rehearsals.com recording studio in Burbank and talking on his cellphone when "he hit Antonia"s car. Then he has the nerve to jump out and scream, "Don"t you know who I am? I represent Lindsay Lohan! How dare you get in my way!" He had no idea who Antonia was." Morgan said that Zagata tried to blame Antonia "but [that] there were six witnesses, including the security guard who saw him ram her." He said that Antonia was shaken up and that her car suffered close to $2,000 in damages.

Did this idiot seriously expect to be recognized? He"s Lindsay Lohan"s driver. You"d have a better chance of recognizing your neighbor"s dry cleaner. Or some guy in Italy you"ve never met. Source

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Britney Spears was spotted at Millennium Dance Studio, once again wearing her dancing cowgirl outfit. Hard to imagine yesterday she looked like this. She looks way better when she doesn"t wear her lipstick, so it"s hard to figure out why she"s always putting it on. It"s like she goes out of her way to look bad. One of these days she"s gonna get plastic surgery and when the surgeon asks what she wants to look like she"ll reply, "George Costanza."

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