Jenna Jameson is reportedly pissing off producers who want to turn her book, "How to Make Love Like a Porn Star," into a movie because she keeps missing meetings. Although it"s allegedly because she got plastic surgery on her vagina and she isn"t happy with it. A source says:

"She underwent a vaginoplasty at a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon, and she is very unhappy," said the source, who added, in perhaps an unfortunate choice of words, "she has decided to hole up and not speak to anybody. The producers are about to pull the plug on the movie," which would be a mainstream production.

You"d think Jenna Jameson would"ve learned her lesson by now. If she went to the same plastic surgeon that did her face and body, her vagina probably came out looking like some sort of squid. I don"t even think the guy"s a doctor. Judging by his work I"d guess he"s an out of work janitor. Or a puppy. Source

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Paris Hilton may face a three-month prison sentence for violating her probation by driving with a suspended license. On Tuesday she was pulled over in her car by police in Los Angeles, and a spokeperson for the prosecutor says:

"We are confident that we have sufficient evidence that her license was suspended at the time she was driving and that she had knowledge of that suspension."

It"s fun to dream, but there"s no way Paris Hilton is going to get actual jail time for this. Mary-Kate Olsen has a better chance of beating up a polar bear with her bare hands. And then eating it. Source

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Britney Spears and Kevin Federline had a five hour meeting yesterday and finally reached a settlement in their divorce. K-Fed will only get $1 million after the airtight pre-nup drafted by Britney"s lawyer and the two will have joint custody of the kids, sharing physical custody 50/50. Although $1 million still sounds like way too much. If they made things fair based on what they contributed to the marriage, K-Fed would"ve left this thing with two balloons and a tube of toothpaste. And here"s shots of Britney having a quick 30-minute celebration at the Bridge Restaurant and Lounge in Hollywood yesterday after the settlement meeting. Dropping K-Fed must"ve been like removing a tumor, because she"s starting to physically look better. By the end of all this she might actually turn out okay. Source

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Lindsay Lohan was spotted in LA without a bra on, which I guess would be a bigger deal if we haven"t already seen her vagina. The most surprising thing she could do these days would be to spell the word "adequate" correctly. I think the other day she spelled it with a "p" and had a pound sign in there.

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Courtney Love showed off her newly slimmed body in Maui, Hawaii after losing a reported 45 lbs. Although on the list of people I want to see in a bikini, Courtney Love is right up there with Queen Elizabeth II and Carl Winslow from Family Matters. A few more of Courtney Love hitting up the beach after the jump.

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Remember Kim Smith? She was a former Guess model who also did some Victoria"s Secret modeling and appeared in a few movies like Van Wilder and Catwoman. I don"t really have a good excuse to post these pictures of her at the Meet the Robinsons premiere, I just thought you"d need something to wash your eyes out after that Natasha Lyonne post. Although after Natasha Lyonne I could"ve put up a picture of the Elephant Man posing nude with some burn victims and it"d be like looking at the cast of Batwatch.

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Natasha Lyonne (the girl from American Pie that threatened to molest a dog) showed up to the LA premiere of Grindhouse wearing what appears to be a trash bag. Although it would"ve looked better if it was over her head. Nature has not been kind to this girl. I"m starting to understand why she has to rape dogs, and it"s because there"s no way she"d get them to actually consent. I"m pretty sure having sex with a blender would be more enjoyable. A couple more after the jump, but trust me you don"t want to look.

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This isn"t even close to news, but Tara Reid was spotted in Hollywood with a striped shirt looking relatively okay. Exciting, isn"t it? You paid for your whole seat but you"ll only need the edge!

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Bam Margera (the jackass from Jackass) apparently has a huge mural of Lance Bass in his garage. Recent visitors to his home say:

"There"s a big portrait of Lance in an astronaut uniform, smiling broadly and holding his helmet proudly. In the background is a NASA shuttle ascending to space on a giant rainbow." Margera confirmed it was Bass to friends, saying: "Hell yeah! The guy from "N Sync who wanted to go to outer space, but never made it and was all gay and shit!"

There"s nothing more inspirational than Lance Bass"s heroic story of being in a boy band and wanting, but failing, to go into outer space. I"m surprised it isn"t painted on the White House. I heard they were thinking of building a Lance Bass museum over Rosa Parks" grave, but they were afraid it would be too inspirational and the nation would constantly be in tears. Source

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Halle Berry tells Parade magazine she tried to commit suicide over her failed first marriage by trying to "gas" herself. She says:

"I was sitting in my car, and I knew the gas was coming when I had an image of my mother finding me. She sacrificed so much for her children, and to end my life would be an incredibly selfish thing to do. It was all about a relationship. My sense of worth was so low. I promised myself I would never be a coward again."

It"s always sad when beautiful people try to take their own lives. I got pretty depressed once because I finished a delicious sandwich and wanted more, so I tried to kill myself by picking a fight with a gang of hoodlums. Unfortunately my intstincts kicked in and I beat them all up, but the moral of the story is: beating up hoodlums and taking their money is a great way to get sandwich money. Source

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