Paris Hilton and Travis Barker were spotted at The Mansion club and Absinthe Bar in the Red Light District of Amsterdam. And in a pathetic attempt to dodge the paparazzi, Paris was seen leaving her hotel room in a red dress but returning wearing a brown wig and her friend Kim Kardashian"s coat. Which sounds pretty clever in theory, but so does spray on hair. And last I checked that"s not the miracle invention the TV would have you believe. More of Paris and her amazing wardrobe change after the jump.

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Orlando Bloom (the perverted looking guy in the hat) was spotted leaving Club Hyde with Penelope Cruz, sparking rumors - most of which I"m starting right this second - that they"re having lots and lots of sex. Most likely anal. And why would I say such horrible and disgusting things? Because I want whatever it is Matthew McConaughey has turned into to chase down Orlando Bloom and fist fight him to death for having anal sex with his ex-girlfriend. Plus a witness tells me Orlando called Matthew a "sissy girlie-man with the physique of a 13-year-old girl." And gay. He also said he was gay. More of Orlando and Penelope sneakily driving off together in Orlando"s car after the jump. UPDATE: Maybe Matthew can just beat Orlando to death with his gigantic penis. Stuffing one sock down there usually does the trick, man. I think eight might be a bit excessive. Thanks to Aaron for the tip.

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I give it three months before Nicole Richie"s sunglasses get so big her head is just dragging on the floor. Then when she shows up to places and people ask her what"s wrong she can point and laugh at them because their lame sunglasses actually fit on their head. I mean seriously, if your sunglasses don"t make you look like a giant-headed space insect you"re just making an ass out of yourself. More of Nicole and her bug costume after the jump.

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Jeff Timmons, some guy I never heard of from 98 Degrees, was sentenced to a year of probation after being charged with reckless driving and refusing to sign a citation. He was pulled over going 60 mph in a 45 mph zone and was initially charged with a DUI but the charges were dropped due to lack of evidence when he refused to take any alcohol testing. Finally, no more restless nights waking up in a cold sweat wondering if Jeff Timmons is okay. It"s like a huge weight has been lifted off my soul. I don"t think a day has gone by I haven"t kept his memory in my heart. Or something. You know what I mean. He"s very famous after all. Some say 98 Degrees was more important to society than the discovery of fire.

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I didn"t even know there was one, but the feud between Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera is reportedly over. Christina bought a $570 gift bag for Britney"s new son, Sutton Pierce, which includes a hooded towel, overalls, slippers, and a crockery set.

The goodies will be added to the lavish room little Sutton Pierce shares with older brother Sean Preston, which according to L&S cost Spears $100,000 to redecorate in blue with nautical themes and a large SPF - the initials of both tykes - stenciled on the wall. "Britney worked with two designers to make the nursery state of the art," a friend told the mag. "She told the decorators to spare no expense. She"s indulging herself and her new son. This is definitely the most joyous time of her life."

And no, Chirstina Aguilera hasn"t turned into a bald black man, that"s just a shot of the gift bag she got for Britney. Although sometimes I wonder what it would be like if she really did turn into a bald black man. My fantasies would be a little different, but I can"t say I"m not a little curious. Oh wait, yes I can. I can say it very loudly.

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I tried to avoid posting Paris Hilton"s new music video for "Nothing In This World" but the 4 gazillion emails in my inbox say that"s not gonna happen. I think the main message of the video is that Paris Hilton likes grinding her crotch against 14-year-old boys. There"s also some references to The Girl Next Door so maybe she"s implying she used to do porno. It"s a bold move to combine the creative vision of a music video with the truthfulness of a documentary.

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Rachel Bilson Is No Longer Cute, She’s Hot! (Just Jared)
Natalie and Scarlett: Together at Last… At Last (Egotastic!)

Jessica Simpson Is A Wreck (IDLYITW)
Kate Beckinsale Looking Hot At Click Premiere (Popsugar)

Nicole Richie & Her K-Mart Hoodie (Pink Is The New Blog)
Lindsay Lohan Quote Of The Day! (Dlisted)

Rachel Bilson Makes Her Man Jealous (Hollywood Rag)
Could Lindsay and Wilmer Be Friends Again? (A Socialite’s Life)

More Promo Shots For Fergie’s Crappy Album! (The Bastardly)
Owen Wilson Serenades Kate Hudson (City Rag)

U2 & Green Day: The Saints Are Coming (Popoholic)
Family Guy Drops The F-Bomb On Air (Horny Oyster)

Hot Mess Of The Day: Mary Kate Olsen (I’m Not Obsessed)
Avast! It’s Gwen’s Pirate Papoose! (CelebNewsWire)

Hollywood Tuna’s Back Catalogue
Marisa Miller Pictures
Scarlett Is The Real Starlet
Sharapova Has Nothing On Shannon Elizabeth

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-The epic tale of Gwammi Mufasta. Must see!
-Supermodel Showdown - Heidi Klum vs. Karolina Kurkova
-Paris Hilton: Nothing In This World
-New Casino Royale Trailer

-Mmm… Jessica Biel
-Those are some friendly turtles
-They very pretty Charlize Theron
-Dita Von Teese is an acquired taste

More Tuna:
Vida Guerra Pics
Holly Valance Pics
Kristin Kreuk Is Hot, But Sadly Boring

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OMG! I am speechless. Every single time I think Victoria Beckham’s breasts can’t look anymore artificial, round and retarded, she goes ahead and outdoes herself. I’m more impressed with her than ever!

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Hilary Duff has defended stars who have plastic surgery, admitting that she would also go under the knife if she ever felt it necessary. The “Wake Up” singer insists people should have the right to improve their looks if they want to and hasn’t ruled out going under the knife herself when she gets older. She revealed to The Sun newspaper, “I don’t have anything against people who have surgery. If I get older and feel uncomfortable about something then maybe I will have it. I never say never.”
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You know I am a little disappointed in my 14-year-old niece’s role model. Here I thought Hilary Duff was a positive influence on young girls and boy was I wrong. Admitting that if she felt it was necessary, she would have plastic surgery, pretty much sends the wrong message to kids don’t you think? Ok, now that I am done pretending to care, knowing that Hilary is not against going under the knife makes me wonder, will we soon have a bigger breasted Hilary Duff? Woohoo!

Related Articles:
Hilary Duff Pics
Hilary Duff And Hailey Duff Are Material Girls
Hilary Duff Denies Virginity Claim? No!!!!!

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